Tell-Tell's 5 days to better poetry - DAY 4

Heyy!

Welcome to day 4 -- we're almost done!

DAY 4 ~~~ I IMAGINE YOU...

Right now...:

Today, we start writing. Immediately. So...

What do I see?

    I see my computer. I see the letters coming up in the screen, against the white background, as I press down each key. 

    I see my desk. I see the charger on it, next to my planner with a pen on top. It's rather neat today -- I decided to keep it clean, with just what I'll use in the moment.

    I see the windows. This room is distinguished from the air outside by glass, so I see everything from my apartment. 

What do I hear?

    I hear the TV from the next room. There is also a buzzing from outside, maybe cars or trucks -- the usual city sounds. My mother is now walking lazily, sliding her feet instead of actually moving them up, forwards and down. I hear plastic bags and tape. What the heck is she doing? Now she's writing something down.

What do I feel?

    It's warm in here. Thank God it's not that warm; it's summer in Argentina. My back does not hurt this time. My fringe covers my forehead and is in the perfect position to not annoy my eyes. My face is uncomfortable due to achne. My right elbow just hurt because of the position it was in. Ugh, I have my fringe annoying me right now.

My surroundings

    I am sitting on a desk chair. My feet are on this weird bar between the desk's legs, so my knees touch the downward face of the desk table. I already described the room and what's on my desk, though now I brought a bottle with less than a half full of water. 

Exercise

    Now comes the actual exercise: thinking of a powerful moment in my past. Because of laziness, I will pick the image of a few moments ago, when I laid down and watched the bit of a movie my little brother was watching in order to rest a bit, which is something really quotidian. 

    I saw the colorful images on the cell phone screen, but also my brother's tan skin (his hands holding the phone), the yellowish wall, the black screen of the TV we weren't using...

    I heard the movie and the music as well as my brother's breath and the soap opera from another room. 

    I honestly don't remember what my clothes felt like on my skin. Perhaps what they feel like now as I'm wearing the exact same clothes (well, I didn't change since a few moments ago). They feel warm, unnecessarily warm as it is already hot. 

    Now, my brother didn't speak much, even when I kissed him in the cheek to annoy him. Sometimes he just makes a lazy complaining sound without opening his mouth because he is focused on the movie. For that very same reason, there isn't any particular expression on his face except for when he takes his face away; that's when a jowl appears. I also hug him and rest on his tiny shoulders, which doesn't particularly annoy him. He doesn't like to wear anything but pijamas at home, too.

    On the walls, there was the TV I previously mentioned, and nothing else. I could see the door, and one of the walls, the one with the wardrove, is all mirrors. 

Expanding on one description

    OK -- I'll expand on what my brother does, because it's kinda funny for me. Can I be more descriptive about his actions? Well, he does hug me back, yeah, but he doesn't like kisses. That's funny for me, I don't know. He doesn't want me to go, either, so each time I get up to go back to my stuff, he asks me "where you going?" "To my desk," I reply. "Noo, don't gooo," he mutters with his eyes still set on the screen. He looks so tiny and cute, almost like a baby, but I still have stuff to do, so I go back to my tasks. 

A (sort of) poem

You watch movies on the cell phone

With the black TV on the wall

Just because you like doing it your way

I held your tiny arms

You hugged me back

You always wait for me to be back

My head on your narrow shoulders

Tan skin against white walls

You watch movies when it's warm outside

So close to the cheeks

For fun, I reached with my lips

But you looked away

You ask me not to leave

But you brush off the kisses

Just because you like doing it your way

Just because you like doing it your way

You like doing it your way

With me

Conclusion and results

    I don't think I like it. But that doesn't matter now, I just need to work on my images, which I highlighted. 

    As I read them, I found out that they are mostly visual images, almost as if I was describing a setting or a situation, but no other senses are related. Maybe that's because I usually don't pay much attention to other senses (my smell, for example, is not very good). 

    On the other hand, my images are figurative, and, in the case of this poem, they also contrast with each other in order to tell something about my brother's personality, so they make sense for this poem (except for "tan skin against white walls," which I just wrote with not much though put into it😂). I didn't even consider the idea of making them metaphorical, but I may try it in the future, with a different poem; here, it was all about visuals and his character and actions. 

    OK -- that's it. What about you? Did you sign up for 5 days to better poems? What did you find out? I guess we both have learned much, so we can now start applying this knowledge into our reading and writing!